California Dreamin'

Ok.. so two weeks later.. and still no laptop. I am working on it though. I promise. There have been a lot of crazy developments in the past two weeks. Some really exciting, some extremely disappointing, but.. life goes on. And in the end God, my family, and my friends will see me through all of this.

I had a short little jaunt out to Los Angeles earlier last week. I say short, because I didn't have a lot of free time, except for the day I spent with my dad at Disney World. Ooops.. I mean... LAND. There is something just really magical about that place that just takes you away from whatever it is you are dealing with in life. Maybe its the five year old kid in me.. but.. I still love that place and get excited when I make that first turn down Main Street USA. I must say though, for those that have visited both Disney parks (in Orlando and Anaheim), the castle in California simply does not do a Disney princess justice. Think about it rationally. The castle in California is supposedly owned by Sleeping Beauty, while the one in Orlando belongs to Cinderella. Personally, I don't get it. Sleeping Beauty is a princess, and marries a prince, therefore, it only makes since that their castle be bigger due to their combined income. Cinderella on the other hand comes from the ‘hood and marries a prince, yet her castle is practically five times bigger. (As they say in Shrek, "Do you think Disney was trying to compensate for something?") If that doesn't show the radical inflation of land prices in California, I don't know what does. Seems to me its time for the Beauties to pack up their things and get out of dodge before the property values take any further of a dump.

Other than that the day was pretty cool, despite the outrageously and uncharacteristically hot southern California weather. Welcome to global warming at its finest folks! I went on the "newly revamped" Pirates of the Caribbean, and when I say newly revamped I mean they stuck a few Captain Jack Sparrow dummies in the ride, called it brand new, and made a bundle off of Johnny Depp’s good looks. Damn corporate pirates. If they were really smart, they would shut down the ride and completely revamp the thing before the third movie comes out. Make it much more hard core and up to date with the movies. Then again the last "scary" ride Disney put out (Alien Encounter) didn't bode well with the little kids, and ended up being replaced with Stitches Great Escape. Hmm.... Adrenaline rush.. I am thinking no. Still, I am all for (**SPOILER HERE FOLKS**) putting in the Kraken and all the crazy monsters from the second movie... maybe some undead things from the last one. With Universal upping the ante with rides like the Mummy, it seems like Disney needs to bring something new to the table. Just my opinion.. for what its worth. Space Mountain seems like it got a hell of a lot faster since the last time I rode it, either that, or I am just getting too old for that kind of stuff.

And Splash Mountain remains the most fun, yet irritating ride there: You go through these dark places with animals all laughing at you, the stupid people, because you are on a ride that will leave you with reclaimed-water-soaked underwear the rest of the day... and they have the gall to play that happy music at the end while you sit in cold air-conditioning? Where does it say that being in wet clothes the rest of the day in hundred degree heat is magical? Oh well. My dad was never a big fan of Disney, but he tolerates Land because he said that they have better crowd control, and less walking. Still, I think he insists his favorite ride is the tram to the parking lot at the end of the day, and that if I ever wanted to methodically torture him to death I could put him on "Its a Small World" with a loaded pistol and a six pack of beer on continuous loop. I think that ride is any parent’s worst nightmare. We left the park pretty late, which made for a long day... but all in all it was a good trip. I couldn't help but want to sing on the way out (in mouseketeer fashion)...

"F-S-U.. see u real soon. C-O-W.. why.. because I have to go back to school.. G-I-R-L-SSSSSSSSSS." (Yeah.. I know.. I am so lame.)

The rest of my time was spent doing a lot of business. I got to go to some pretty cool places though for some of my meetings, one of which was the back lot at Universal. Sure, I think we could've been arrested for trespassing in Ancient Egypt, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Besides, we had a pass, so technically we had permission to be there. I did manage to find my car.. or what was left of it after it met the aliens in War of the Worlds. Universal has one of the huge crash scenes on their back lot tour. If you haven't been... you must. It’s a completely different experience than the one in Orlando, and personally one of the reasons I don't mind hopping on the four hour plane ride out to the west coast. I also saw "Warrick Brown" of the CSI Vegas fame. That is one of my all time favorite shows.. What I wouldn't give to be a dead body on that table. In the show.. I mean.

That night I met up with my friend Arash Markazi (one of the writers at Sports Illustrated) and took in a WNBA game with him and my dad. I must say that those women do not get enough credit for what they do. Lisa Leslie is awesome. I remember a certain play where Schumacher (of the New York Liberty) came at her after she got the rebound, and Lisa didn't just guard the ball, she gave Schumacher.. the hand and a mouth full of smack. No offense to Schumacher, but if a "sister" Lisa Leslie's size gives you the hand... it might be best to step off. ;) The Sparks ended up winning of course, and I got a chance to take part in the celebration afterwards with a few players from USC's football team and Wanda Sikes. I know... totally random.. but fun. Besides, Arash is hilarious. He and I could go back and fourth for hours talking crap to one another. Our conversations are littered with way too many obscure movie quotes, references to pop culture, jokes that push the lines of PC'ness, and double entendre uses of phrases about Paris (the person, the hotel, or city). But we would have it no other way. And the best part is, neither of us really takes ourselves too seriously, so we are often the butt of our own jokes.

I told Arash I wanted to see a little of the LA nightlife, so we (along with some friends) went to the Standard. We met up with my friend Matt Berry, who... is also one of the funniest, most sarcastic people I have met. (And I would have it no other way.) He is one of the many people, along with Will Carroll that I have met in my crazy travels that I have just absolutely come to trust and love. These guys are the greatest, and best of all they just let me be myself. Sure, hanging around the guys that night I heard my fair of "guy convo" that just isn't meant for girls ears, but they let me talk sports too, which is something I am pretty passionate about.

By the end of my trip I was pretty exhausted, yet at the same time it was sad for me to leave. There is something about the West Coast that is so addicting. Maybe it’s the fact they spend most of their lives waiting in traffic that it has created this laid back attitude that is so "So Cal." No one in Cali has that "chicken with their head cut off" sense of urgency." And that suits me just fine. I guess the Beach Boys really did get it right when they said... "I wish they all could be California girls“ because this girl sure wishes she was one of them. Who knows, maybe Sleeping Beauty's house might go on the market sometime soon... Hey, a girl can dream right? Now, if only I could find my prince charming... that would be Grrreeeeeeeattttttttttt.

A rant on My Travels: The Dirty South, Cowgirl in the City Part Deux, & The Cross-town Rivalry of "Chi-Town"

I have come to many conclusions as of late in my travels around the country but the one that sticks out the most: I seriously need a lap top, because writing blogs just isn't as effective, or time efficient on a pad of notebook paper. So, I apologize that it has taken me this long to update my blog.

For those of you who don't keep up with the gossip, I have been M.I.A. in Tally recently, and spent a lot of time traveling the country, and getting things done in Tampa. I've been shooting a lot of new stuff with a local photographer, George Salmon. He does amazing work…and is going to completely up the ante on my website pictures. The galleries that are on the way are beyond fabulous, and are really unique. I can't wait!

My first outing was actually to ATL. I basically spent seven hours in a car with the parental units to go to a Braves game with them and a friend. Turner field is AMAZING, and the people I met from the franchise like their marketing director, Brian Lapidus, were super friendly and had some great advice and ideas for me. I somehow ended up on the ten story jumbo-tron, which is a little different than the one at Doak. To call it slightly bigger would be an understatement. Besides that, my Turner experience gave me a renewed sense of why I love the game of baseball. The pants. My seats were great and the only two places I think I would have rather sat were in the dugout or right field. Gee…wonder why. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed that my Braves lost the entire series to the Red Sox, and that the number of Sox fans rivaled, if not exceeded the number of Braves.. but it was nice to have a weekend away from everything and to spend time with my family. For the most part, the Sox fans weren't too rowdy or obnoxious, and it really did amuse me that the entire stadium united in a cheer "YANK-EES SUCK!" Say what you want, but I just can't hate on a franchise for being that damn good.

The Braves just seem like they have lost the energy that made them the Braves I used to watch growing up. I'm not being a fair weather fan though; I still have faith in them. I have way more respect for a fan that sticks by their team even when their record is sub-par what it usually is, than the ones that cheer for them only when they are winning. To those people, I say a real fan sticks by their team through thick and thin. And these are the only fans that truly deserve the bragging rights when their team does accomplish something amazing.

The next on the agenda…that wasn't on the agenda... was a trip to NYC. I had to make a quick run up there to take care of some business, so the actual fun part...really didn't last but a few hours. I was disappointed that I didn't get a chance to check out any of the NBA draft parties that were going on, or get to meet any of the NBA's newest players. Oh well, all in due time I guess. I did get to hang out for a little bit in the meat packing district, which was a lot cooler than it sounds. I hope I get to spend a lot more time up there soon…because I could easily get addicted to the shopping up there.

Then, I flew home, only to fly out the next day to Chicago. I really wasn't feeling the whole traveling or the club experience that night. But, as it turns out, I had an absolutely fantastic time. The people at Cabaret (where I worked the cheerleading event)…were so awesome and welcoming, I pretty much forgot I was working. They took me out to this fabulous place for dinner, and I got to cook my own food on a hot rock. No lie. A rock. Well, polished stone, kinda like the ones they use in curling. Hmmm…I think I found a use for them in the four year off season from the winter Olympics. The patrons at the club that night were really awesome and really great people. I even got to DJ a little bit, if you can call turning the volume switch dj'ing. Hey, you gotta start somewhere, but don't expect any DJ cowgirl mix tapes anytime soon. I might have had a little too much fun. I got to meet Ozzie Guillen, who from what I understand has to go through some kind of "sympathy" training. He recently made the news for a less than friendly comment he made toward a news reporter. From what I could tell, I don't know if it is actually working, but he seems like an all right guy. It was his son's birthday, so he and some of the Sox were out celebrating, well, as much as you can celebrate when you have to play the next day against your cross town rivals. I haven't seen such north south rivalry since the civil war. That town is so crazy when it comes to their team loyalty…its just, insane. I was kind of disappointed that I didn't get a chance to really see the city, or take in a game…but something tells me.. I haven't seen the last of the Windy city.

I did get to relax a little bit on Lake Michigan, if you can call wanting to toss your cookies overboard relaxing. I have never been a huge fan of the water…except for white water rafting for some reason. But...that day…I was just not having it. I don't care what they say…that lake has waves damn it!!! I have never felt so "lake" sick…in my entire life. I think I will stick to the land/bus tour next time.

If I have not enjoyed one thing these past few weeks, it’s the amount of time I have spent on airplanes. Maybe its the cramped seats…or perhaps the screaming children, but I don't think I will ever find this part of traveling enjoyable. But from the looks of things…I better get used to it…and fast. It doesn't help either when you have the flight crew from hell... could some of these people have any LESS personality. I will say this though.. if I was a stewardess.. I think my announcements would be a little different from the ones I have to hear on what seems a daily basis now... Maybe something to the effect of:

"To fasten your seat belt, it does not require a college degree, if you are unable to do so, the flight attendant will be by to assist you, and slap you in the back of the head for being an absolute moron. (You would be surprised how many people this actually gets). In case of a water landing on en route to Chicago (I am thinking to myself... are you SERIOUS... yeah... lets land in some tiny ass retention pond somewhere in the Midwest)...your seat cushion may be used as a floatation device. You may also use this little thing called a life preserver, which upon its inflation will make you look like a guy from a Tums commercial. You will then jump out of the plane and onto Southwest Airlines newest attraction, with a splash landing, where you will float for miles and be met by crew members and Gilligan with leis' and grass skirts. If you are still alive at this point, an alcoholic beverage is complimentary. If you have screaming children, you may stow them in the overhead compartment above you (kinda redundant don't you think... where else would an overhead compartment be?). We also offer a spacious playroom with a view on the wing. Any takers?.. In case of sudden pressure drop, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling; the first minute is free, while you must deposit twenty five cents for every minute thereafter."

So, flying isn't exactly my specialty, but I guess it will soon be all in days work. No biggie, at least I'll be doing something I enjoy, and seeing all the great sights this country has to offer me. Now.. if only I could do business in Hawaii.. or the Caribbean.. that would be greaaaaaaattt.

Anyways, I gotta get back to writing my SI article now. Hope you enjoy this weeks installment. If you have any questions, go ahead and submit them here or at Si.com to be answered in my next mailbag.

Thanks for tuning in this week. See you next week.. same cowgirl time.. same cowgirl channel. And yeah.. I know I am lame.

PS. Have a safe and happy fourth of July.. And remember; only you can prevent forest fires... or the fire you set to your neighbor’s mailbox with an accidental fireworks incident. My bad. ;) Seriously though enjoy your day with friends, family, and fireworks. God Bless the USA.. and our Troops.

How to Lose a Cowgirl in 10 Days

Being from the sports world, I often run into what male sports bloggers refer to as the perfect woman. But what sports woman has ever sat down and actually laid out what her idea of the perfect man is?... What separates man from beast?... Why are women always attracted to the @$$holes? And when did it become okay for women to stop looking for Mr. Right, and start looking for Mr. Right Now?

Guys always ask me what my Mr. Right would be like, and my actual response is... I'm not quite sure. I may not know all the qualities I want my perfect man to have, but I definitely know the ones that would send me running for my life. After the many dating hazzards I have experienced as of late, I figured if some male sports gurus were going to define the perfect woman, then, I in turn, would define my IM-perfect man.. and how he in turn could lose me in ten days or less. I soon realized that I was not alone in this dating nightmare from hell, as some of my girlfriends and fellow cowgirls had stories to share also. So, why not make it a group compilation of our experiences and our trials and tribulations.

We started by breaking our men into different categories. In no particular order, these are some of the few I have run across.

Types of Guys:

The Mama’s Boy:
When I think of these types of guys, they are the ones that suddenly bring back the sickening omegas of a full grown twenty-something Jim Carrey still attached to his mother by an umbilical cord ala “In Living Color”. I’ve always thought you’ll be able to tell what kind of boyfriend a guy will be by the way he treats his mother. Don’t get me wrong, I think its great when guys have a close relationship with their mommy dearest, just as long as it’s not of the Norman Bates kind. These guys are often really emotional and can sometimes be a little on the clingy side. They seek constant reassurance over the relationship’s status and feel the need to take you to all family functions that may arise. This includes little Suzy’s dance recital , where she will inevitably freak out in front of the crowd, stand there like stone, piss her tutu and cry out of sheer terror. Now don’t think I don’t want to spend quality time with his parental units, but how in the world am I supposed to have a healthy relationship with a guy who needs his mother’s permission to stay out late, or who has to lie to her about who he is with? Contrary to popular belief, not all women are the devil. She was once one too. So she is deluding herself if she thinks her twenty-something year old son isn’t out exploring the great big fishbowl that is the dating scene. Odds are the kid was already corrupted before you got to him. She will hate you… and she will hate the girl after you. So don’t take it to personally. This is where someone should remind the mother that unless said son is a hermaphrodite, those grandkids are going to require a spacious oven and the last time I checked, men just weren’t properly equipped to pop out living beings the size of a small watermelon. But if he is going to try, by all means, should be fun for us ladies to watch. So if you manage to stick with this kid till Christmas, be sure and buy him a pair of scissors and his mom a box of Kleenex. Maybe then, you can have a real relationship.

The Himbo:
Ah, you will easily spot this species of male, as he is usually the one standing in the doorway of your local Abercrombie store. There is a reason they put these men in designated positions: to herd women into their stores like border collies, under the false pretenses of scoring a date with these zoolander look-a-likes. But don’t be fooled!! These men are much like Britney Spears videos in the way they are best viewed on mute. Other than good genes these guys rarely contribute anything marketable to society. I love a good piece of man candy as much as the next woman, and yes, your kids would be beautiful, but they will also be dumb as rocks. Besides, it’s always been my belief that stupid people shouldn’t be this fertile (see Kevin Federline...) So if you are looking for insightful conversation not revolving around whether tuna is chicken or fish, these types are best avoided.

The “Scene” Artistic Boy:
These are the boys with tats, piercings and the general “My life is a shithole” mantra. The glass is not only half empty with these guys; it’s crushed into more pieces than a bottle at a Jewish wedding. Yet, somehow, these guys manage to still have game. I think it’s due to the fact that women believe they can actually positively impact these guys lives, and they understand them in ways that no one else can. It never ceases to impress me how these kids can wear more eyeliner than I do, and sport jewelry in places I’d rather not mention, yet still be sought after as heartthrobs. It could work for them if it worked for Johnny Depp, and besides, to each her own.

The Narcissistic Golden Child:
If you want the days forecast, just check out this dude’s ass, because he and his parents swear the sun shines out of it! If you’re going to date this guy, be prepared to be a good listener, or a mime, because he will rarely listen to what you have to say. These guys are the pretty ones that know they are man-pretty; they gel their hair to go to sleep, check out their reflections in anything you can bounce light off of, and are convinced they are the best thing to happen to women since Victoria’s Secret. Every picture they have is of themselves in their best club attire, or better yet shirtless. Their facebook profiles spit more game and self confidence than most rappers. Even if they have brothers and sisters, you would swear they are an only child just by the level of sheer spoiled-ness they exude. If a little ego boost does the mind good, then these guys have their egos super-charged with some nitrous on the side. But as they say… They’re not cocky, they are confident.

The Neurotic:
So, you are on your first date with said guy. He seems reasonably normal. Then, he begins to tell you his absolute deepest darkest inner secrets and thoughts. Maybe its something about the fact you have been through rehab for gambling all your funds away on unsanctioned cock fights in Mexico, or the fact your were kicked out of school for being a wrongly accused lacrosse player at an Ivy league establishment.. at some point, your details cross the interesting line, and end up somewhere in between "mildly psychotic" and "run-for-the hills!" So do us a favor, save the juicy secrets for a later time, the first date, just isn't cutting it.

Don’t blame the kid if he falls into this category, because they are usually the product of their environment. If the mama’s boys are clingy, then the neurotics are “Stage 5” clingers. No amount of fabric softener will release these guys from your hip. They need constant assurance that you aren’t going to leave, cheat or stop loving them at all times. And they will often push you to the brink of insanity, but they mean well. As many times as there are hours in a day, blowing up your phone insisting you spend every waking minute of your existence with them, and are consistently looking over at you only to ask the proverbial question “What are you thinking?” This I usually respond to with a deep meaningful gaze into their eyes and say...”Not a goddamn thing...” Where does it say I have to be pondering the meaning of life and what am I going to name my unborn children every time I am not speaking?? Besides, if this guy is crazy enough to even fathom I will have kids with him, he underestimates the power of a bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Its Nature vs. Nurture, baby! And if you think I’m going to go halves on a kid with some psychotic only to spend all my hard earned money putting my kids through Dr. Phil’s Daycare, you are wrong my friend. In the end however, it’s your sanity or theirs, and last time I checked, the straight jacket was hardly considered a fashion statement, unless you are Hannibal Lector.

The A$$hole:
C’mon! Did you honestly think I could discuss the male species without touching on this one? These guys usually have more game than Milton Bradley, but will ditch you in a second once “the next big thing” comes along. They are the serial daters, who are hardly ever brought to court, because even Gil Grisom can’t seem to convince juries of intelligent women that he is just an evil guilty bachelor. This particular breed of men has many aliases and disguises, so be warned. Most are better illusionists than David Blane, and these guy’s balls aren’t made of glass, but steel. The asshole thinks they can get away with everything, and unfortunately they are usually right. Even I, being the intelligent woman I am, have fallen for one or two of these once or twice.

Why do women fall for assholes? Because, it’s the maternalistic, Good Samaritan savior in all of us that motivates women into thinking “I can change him. I can make him a better person.” He starts off as the Bad Boy our parents don’t want us to date, but we, out of pure spite and stubbornness, do so anyway. It then progresses into this facade of a relationship, so make believe and impressive that even Walt Disney would shake his cryogenically frozen head in disbelief. And yet, we call this normal.

The fact of the matter is most women wouldn’t know Mr. Right or real love even if it was right in front of us. We have these preconceived notions about what the perfect relationship is supposed to look like. Some of us will go so far as to pick up the most ravaged of pairing; only hoping to pull a Ty Pennington Extreme Love Makeover. Well, I’ve got news for you ladies and gentlemen...love just don’t work like that. Most women don’t know what they want until they see it, so we will end up settling for something less than we deserve. Relationships are a growing process.

“I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

For all the men that took the time to read this, I applaud you and hope my sense of humor and take on the dating situation nowadays didn’t completely bore you to death. Hopefully, you found some of my insights… well....insightful! Maybe you’ll make the changes necessary to be that special woman’s Mr. Right. Regardless, just remember that while you may stereotype certain kinds of women; know that we are capable of doing the same to you. So heed my words of wisdom...or you just might find out...How to Lose a Cowgirl in 10 Days....

Start Spreading the News... Cowgirl Takes Manhattan!

I now understand why they call NYC the city that never sleeps, because I can honestly say I might have slept a grand total of 24 hours the entire time I was there May 14th through the 18th. You'd think with the whole not sleeping part, I would've at least had a chance to take in the sites and sounds of the city! But honestly, my trip consisted mostly of business, business, and oh yeah, more business.

I got there Sunday (Happy Mother's Day, Mom!), attended a meeting, and then went to a huge party later that night. While I was at this party, I got my first taste of "Hollywood" and probably heard some of the lamest pick up lines I have had the privilege of receiving in a long time. Who knew there were so many producers, lawyers, agents, actors/actresses, and directors in NYC, let alone in one place at one time? Don't get me wrong I'm sure there were plenty of legitimately important people at this shindig, but I am gonna venture out on a limb and say that there were definitely a few piggy backers in the crowd as well. The presence of the piggy backers raised the "creep factor" (as I have come to call it) to a "code orange." There were a couple of “normal” guys in the crowd, or as normal as they could be, I guess, for having been a teen heart throb for most of their lives. I met Joshua Jackson, who, all in all is an absolute sweetheart, and an extremely funny guy. Anyone who can put up with my bad Canada jokes, my calling him Pacey, and telling him "don't worry, the Skulls didn't completely ruin your career" is OK in my book. I actually had a lot of fun hanging out with him, and some of his friends from NBC (who promised me they would continue to mock his “Canadianism’s” with some of my crazy one liners I gave them regarding loft apartments, Cannabis references on their flag, and considering curling a sport). This also accounts for the fact I rolled into my hotel room at 5 in the morning with the worst case of hiccups ever, from laughing at each others horrible jokes. I also happened to spot some of the Family Guy's voice talent like Alex Borstein while walking out of the after party that night, but all I could muster was a single "Giggity" and professed my undying love to their show and Seth Green.

The next day, Monday, I met with the kids from Town Tavern at the Pub across the street, where I was recognized by the local off duty firefighter convention that had assembled there after their shift. Murmurings of "That's the FSU chick" and "Holy crap, that girl is on my desktop" were kind of humorous at first, but more obnoxious as the drinking ensued. Monday night was definitely fun, because I actually got to relax a little, and spend some quality time with a good friend of mine, Eric Gillin. We went to probably the coolest drinking spot I have ever been too, this quiet little speak easy from back in the prohibition era. The drinks were awesome but the company was better. It's nice when you can hang out with people who are as sarcastic as yourself :) Alas, I will never be able to find that place again, as it was so hush-hush, and the fact that I am about as good with directions as the president is at looking for a corner in his oval office.

Tuesday was all work and no play, or at least until I headed out for an evening appearance at the Town Tavern in Greenwich Village a local FSU alumni headquarters. But first I had an interview with the Covino and Rich show on Sirius Maxim Radio channel 108. I must say these guys cracked me up, how they tried to work me on some gossip I was holding out on.. but I think I held my own pretty well. I mean.. I did quote anchorman and the family guy. :) PS.. I am still convinced the Cavino looks like Mario Lopez.. or perhaps fez from that 70's show.

Later that night, it was time for Fabi and I to hit the Town Tavern for our appearance. We had an absolute blast there with all their staff and patrons, and brought the spirit of Tallahassee with us, in the grand tradition of flip cup and beer pong. Call me sentimental, but it almost made me miss Tally... almost. We ended the night with the cowgirl rendition of Coyote Ugly, complete with shot pours. I even donated my jersey to the bar to raise money for a charity during football season. All in all it was an awesome time.. Hopefully we can do it again once football season starts up. Hey, who knows?? I may be watching more games from NYC than from Doak... :( Don't worry though; I am currently seeking reliable replacements should this be the case.

Wednesday was the culmination of the week's worth of long but productive meetings... with the Maxim party at the Buddha Bar. It was definitely the coolest party by far I had ever been too. I didn't want to be the kid that has never been there.. but.. I was the kid that's never been there. There were cameras everywhere. For some reason, everyone kept calling me Lacey.. I finally put two and two together and realized that I did in fact resemble Chabert that night, so odds are if you find pics of "her" from that night, you might be looking at a cowgirl in disguise instead. Fabi and I had an absolute blast and got to hang out with all kinds of interesting people. The guys from Sirius Maxim radio were fun as always, and I proved to them that girls can still look hot, and rock a pant suit. We rehashed our MFK conversation from my interview the day before, and I apologized for causing the demise of their relationships with their girlfriends, as a result of said interview. The party itself was too sweet... even though partying just really isn't my scene. I did feel kinda like a high-schooler again, getting all dressed up and going to prom, you know? Somehow, I doubt this is the last time I will attend something like this though... so some shopping may be in order.

Overall, NYC was a fabulous and very productive trip. I am sure I will have some more news for you on its outcome in the coming weeks... so stay tuned guys.. ;)

Quick Moderator Update

Hey all,

Jenn's been really swamped these past few weeks getting ready for a busy May travel and appearance schedule...check out her News page for up to date details on these appearances. Last night she was in Cleveland...next week she'll be up in NYC at various venues, so check back soon...she's already writing her next set of blog entries and will have them ready to post very soon.

Also....THINK YOU'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A COWGIRL?
Jenn has started doing some scouting for future cowgirls to be featured on CowgirlNation.com. So.. if you are a female between the ages of 18-25, send your pictures (swimsuit, modeling.. NON-NUDE!!!!), physical stats (height,weight, measurements), and some brief bio information to beacowgirl@jennsterger.com. Applications will be screened on an individual basis. The pictures and information requested are for evaluation purposes only. They will not be posted on the internet or released to a third party. Finalists will be notified for further background screenings, etc. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY!!!

Thanks for stopping in and look for new posts shortly!!

On Rain.. The Animals.. and Why I still hate the Gators

Millie Vanilli said it best when they said “blame it on the rain”.. but even that wasn't a good enough excuse for Wednesday's game. The rain came down in sheets Wednesday.. twice. First before the game, causing it to start nearly 45 minutes late...the second time during the fourth inning. This time for real. The rain wasn't the worst part... it was the lightning. And it was everywhere. One bolt in particular sent the entire gator crew (who had been cheering and carrying on sans coach) hurdling to the back of their dugout... it was priceless.

There was no 'O Canada' which I have come to love. There was no 'Swing Low'. And there was certainly no joy in Dick Howser Stadium, as the lightning struck us out. The majority of the Animals left early.. but no sane person would have wanted to sit in a big metal box with lightning all around.

There were several highlights to the game on Wednesday night... unfortunately none were of the victory variety. I got a personal tour of Dick Howser Stadium and the labyrinth that lay below it, courtesy of Mr. Chip Baker (the Best Short coach of all time) and his adorable daughter Katie (and you too Mad Cow!!).

I got to see the video control room...where I was told, the cameras are ALWAYS on. (**Basically... don't try anything you'll regret seeing on video later, seniors even if it is your last year**). I got to see the coaches’ locker room, where I left some of the coaches’ inspiration notes and some magazines.


I got to see the uniform room where I tried on Buster Posey's jersey (OK, Animals, insert banjo music here!!!) :), the clinic, the locker room.. empty of course.. SIGH :( You name it. The most impressive part of the tour, besides getting to peek out the dugout (--NOTICE: I did not go into the dugout, per Keith Hernandez -- should he find this) was by far the trophy room. That was amazing. To see all the different awards, the parts of FSU baseball's history.. it was just breathtakingly cool :) I also took some pictures with some little leaguers that happened to stop by.. even though they were in the company of a gator alum. ;)

I also got the opportunity to meet one of the guys that started it all. He was with the camera crew that caught me the night ABC and Brent Musberger picked my girlfriends and I out of the crowd. It was a pleasure getting to meet him and the whole SSN crew.

I was especially happy to meet Gene "The Voice" Deckerhoff and Keith Jones. These guys made my night. I told Gene that I used to listen to him announce the Bucs games when I was younger while my dad was on the roof hanging Christmas lights (ala Clark Griswald.. and praying he would not fall off the roof). It's just one of those things you will always remember.. you know??

I also got to hang out a little with my good friend Joe Garcia. He is always so busy with all he contributes to the athletic program that he rarely gets a chance to sit down and take in a game. So it was a nice surprise to hang out with him even if it was just for a few minutes


And of course, no FSU sporting event would be complete without getting to meet FSU's greatest fan by far, President T.K. Wetherell. Ladies and gentlemen, after that, my job here at Florida State is complete.. I can now graduate a happy cowgirl! Or maybe stretch it out... one more football season.

PS....And.. as much as it pains me to say this. Congrats to the gators.. Your team played well, especially the guys in blue (and I am not talking about your players!) Just kidding. :) So.. live it up now guys.. We will meet again..

A Lecture on Subjects.. and Objects

I was asked to be a guest speaker in a student public relations class one day last week. The overall theme was "Women's Bodies in Cyberspace" and I was to lecture about my own personal experiences regarding this topic. Hopefully, if you are reading this, you are already familiar with my story, and know about the crazy turn my life has taken in the recent months. This is exactly why it made me a perfect candidate to present this topic to a classroom of my fellow students. It was kind of intimidating, being that I am not that great of a public speaker, and also that this subject was very personal: speaking about myself, perceptions of my "sex life" and the price of notoriety. The kids (I say kids, though most were still like 18-20) were an awesome audience and I think they related to what I was going through pretty well.

I tried to explain to them what it is like to go through the things I have experienced in the past few months, equating it to high school. We all remember how cruel kids could be back then. I told them to imagine that, but at a national level. People who don't know me, have no clue about me, except from pictures they may have seen on the internet, insulting me, based on nothing but a perceived appearance. So is life. I told them that there will always be trolls that have nothing better to do with their pathetic lives than waste their time tooling away at their computers and insulting you as someone they will never meet. But I told them they have two options, they can either feed the trolls, or ignore them & deprive them of air until they are forced to crawl back under the bridge from which they came.

The most enlightening comment I had though, came from the Devil's Advocate position, played by the professor. He asked me: "Do you ever feel like just an object? Don't you feel like you are being exploited simply because of how you look?"

I thought about it.. and told him... "No, I consider myself more a subject than an object. There is a difference between being a subject.. and an object. An object has no control over its environment and its situations.. I on the other hand have control over my direction and my destiny. If I don't feel a project is right for me.. or if I am not comfortable in a situation at lets say .. a photo shoot.. I have the right to walk. I have the last word, because it is my life, and I will not be a bystander in it, but an active force."

The Tallahassee Democrat actually covered my lecture, as a part of their print article on me and my playboy shoot. I never thought they would actually host almost the entire lecture, but they did. As I said earlier, I am not the best public speaker.. nor do I claim to be.. but it was a great experience being able to speak to my own peers about all the things that have happened as a result of being an sudden internet force. I intentionally spoke in my normal casual way instead of a more formal approach, but only because of who my audience was. I am relaxed, and just a normal kid.. and I wanted to make sure that my audience knew that, despite everything that has taken place in the past few months.. I am still just like all of them.

I have gotten many letters regarding my lecture to the class, the majority from young women. They basically told me that I made them reconsider the way they saw models, and that it was good to see a woman who was so comfortable in her own skin, that she could come into a class and face her worst critics, her peers, and herself. Their praise and understanding meant more to me than any magazine shoot or any web page, because it came from them. It came from the student body at Florida State. It was nice to felt wanted, but more so, just understood. For the first time in months I felt just like one of them. Thanks to the public relations class that let me come speak. It was the best psychotherapy session a girl could ask for, because it let me get out everything that has been bothering me these past few months... and it let people see the real me. The girl that used to cry about all the negativity, until she realized it was ruling her life. The girl who was only seen as a pretty face and not for what she could possibly contribute to society. The girl who faced it all, and in the end will come out on top... Thanks to people like my audience. Thank you for understanding.. me.

Take me out to the ball game....

So.. Sunday I experienced baseball as I had never experienced it before: I sat among the Animals of Section B. I was absolutely blown away by their renditions of familiar songs, parodied of course, for FSU baseball. My particular favorite was the song about the short coach (done of course to the "Small World After All" theme.) There was just something about their heckling that was almost... i dunno... ARTISTIC. It is one thing to scream obscenities.. it is quite another to come up with witty (and for the most part PG-13) chants/songs. Their fearless leader (one Mad Cow.. Drew) and fellow animals... welcomed me with open arms.


Sure.. I have been in college four years, and am still having difficulty spelling the word Noles with my arms.. (even with hand-over-hand assistance)... but they still love me. The N-O-L-E-S chant was a little difficult for me.. as I have no coordination whatsoever. (thus, I am not an athlete).


Still, it was an honest attempt... and I am still working at it. It of course didn't help that I practiced it in front of a mirror.. but that is irrelevant. ;) And.. it definitely didn't help that while I was doing the cheer the guy in front of me did his own.. I believe it was... B-O-O-B-S!... Hey.. can't blame the guy for trying.

My parents called mid way through the game to tell me that they had seen me on TV.. and to quit copying their team's cheers. They happen to cheer for the guys that look like they had stolen FAMU's uni's. You can't fault them for genetics... I guess I have just crossed over from the dark side. (May have something to do with a certain evil Miami blogger... who I will not mention.. as his fifteen seconds of fame have come and gone.. all at my expense) :::cough::: haters.

The Animals rendition of Canada was quite heartwarming.. although, I don't know the words. Might have something to do with the fact I am from as deep south as they come. The anthem should really include the word "about" (or "Uh-Boat")... I don't know.. for comic relief or something. Regardless, they did pay a nice homage to tradition.. and to the country to the north. (*Robin Williams calls this.. the loft apartment over a really great party!*) ;)

So.. to the people I met Sunday.. Thank you for showing me why not to hate baseball anymore. I must admit... I had an extreme hatred for the game. I could never get into it... as I dated some players in highschool. (If you have never been to a highschool baseball game.. it rates right up there with having a root canal if you ask me... OH THE HUMANITY!!.. OH THE ERRORS!!!) Even the players were entertaining (doing their dances in the dugout). There is just something about FSU baseball.. that is so different.. so.. entertaining.

Sure.. it's not football season.. but its a good diversion until then. I can't wait to go to the game on Wednesday (against the swamp lizards).. and show the kids what I have learned.. been practicing like a young jedi, I have.

The Spring Weekend Fiasco.. and When Bad Shots happen to Good People

One of Florida State's many traditions as a Top Ten Party School has always been Spring Weekend. Basically, they take the frattiest of the fratty... transplant them onto Panama City beach…hand them lots of alcohol and tell them to "go play, and have fun!." I somehow got roped into attending this fiasco by a friend of mine. Don't get me wrong, part of me was curious about the Spring Weekend experience, while the other part said…"RUNNNNNNNN!" There is just something about a bunch of alcohol and half naked people that is bound to cause drama. And it is just not my scene.

I was having a pretty decent time, sipping on my one and only drink on Friday....when I noticed my girlfriend…becoming progressively more intoxicated. Being the great friend that I am, I put her needs before mine, and promptly cut myself off. I am obviously foreseeing that day’s later events.
No swami could've predicted the crazy and erratic behavior I witnessed the rest of that day. My girlfriend was out of control: trying to teach boys to play football (and getting knocked in the face with one... does anyone else see the Brady Bunch irony in this?), walking up to other people and stealing their sunglasses, drinks, you name it, and... losing my beach towel, among many other personal items of her own.. including the bathing suit she had on. I tried locking her in the room to sleep it off. I even barricaded her in there with everything I could find. This chick was like Houdini!!!!.... Who knows how she escaped.. but she did. I must have put an "If found please return to Room # " tag on her.. because no less than half an hour later.. she was back.. and missing parts of her bikini. By this point I had had it. She was soooo grounded.

After getting her settled, and forcing her to sleep it off, I went to Hooters to clear my mind. I know…most guys at this point are going.. “Dude.. That's WHAT I do!... but the wife never believes me!”. A single beer later, I return to the hotel.. and try to sleep. HA!.... Right. These people are like zombies.. it was night of the living dead.. and none of them would just PASS OUT!... Finally I somehow managed to catch a few hours of shut eye... only awaking to my girlfriend calling to tell me she was lost (she was on the floor below us).. and that I needed to come find her. The price of being the only sober person on the beach.. :( How did I wind up with THIS job???

We left sometime around three the next day, after my girlfriend had somewhat recovered from her partying the day before. (I am not at all about vomit.. so she was NOT going to do it in my car.. unless she wanted to walk home). I was so relieved to be back in Tally, especially in time for the Famous Animals of Section B tailgate, which consisted of mucho tequila and a wiffle ball game (in which the batting.. and pitching.. and over all athleticism decreased in correlation with the amount of alcohol the player had consumed).

The guys and gals of Section B.. and the LR were awesome. Its like having a party with your closest friends. The best part of course, was getting the chance to hang out as myself.. and not as cowgirl Jenn. Don't get me wrong, I love my hats and outfits as much as the next person.. but sometimes a little break is nice.


I was supposed to work that night, but the city of Tallahassee was in a shortage of drunks that night, which roughly translates to...it was dead. So.. I got cut.. and sent along my way. Somehow my friends and LR compadres ended up at Ken's, which I had never been to until that night. The staff there was awesome.. and was really happy to have my friends and I in their presence. They even asked me to sign a copy of my Playboy they just happened to have in their bar. Um.. kinda AWKWARD... but nonetheless, just flattered they recognized me.

We then V.I.P'ed it over to Yanni's next door... which was the “best worst” decision EVER. I taught Fallyn why Florida State should have been the number one party school in the nation. I am sure her drive home to Virginia the next day sucked... but hey.. at least she'll always remember me. LOL. Anyways.. we had a great time.. despite the crazy heat in that place.. and the abundance of 80's music. Two of our own even dance battled each other to Michael Jackson's BEAT IT. (You think the boy-bander would've had the edge, but I think the other may have one upped him.. I'm sure a second meeting is in order to determine the victor).

Anyways.. a great time was had by all even though I am sure many of us hated life in the morning. However, it is only a small price to pay to the party Gods. I was just glad I got a chance to hang out with everyone.. and spend time with friends and the people that matter to me. It's nice to know I can still go out and have a quasi-normal life, despite all the craziness that has happened in these past few months.

For all the friends I got to see Saturday... I can't begin to tell u how much I have missed you guys.. you make me long for the tailgates to come. For those that couldn't make it.. you better not punk out next time…because Tallahassee misses you.

Until next time.. Stay classy Tallahassee.. ;)

Gotta love a spring football weekend!

So.. is there a certain protocol you have to follow to write your first actual blog entry?.. I dunno.. I'm new to this whole thing so "bare" with me. ;) (These are the jokes guys..)

I'll spare you the drama of the early years.. and the monotony of listening to all the crazy things that have transpired in the past few months leading up til now. (And for anyone who needs a crash course... because you have no idea what brought you here in the first place... check out my "about me" bio and my links section. That should give you a good feel on who I am.. my personality.. etc.)

If you haven't figured it out by now.. I am extremely sarcastic, but only as a means of trying to make people smile. I am the queen of oneliners, cliches, and hook phrases, so if you don't like it.. now would be a good time to exit.

So.. now that you have clicked on the links.. and figured out who I am.. and why I am here.. I can begin to tell you the craziness that is this week.

For those of you that don't know, my official Jenn Sterger website launched this week. I'm really proud of it.. and my web guy Mike did a fabulous job. And of course.. I have to thank Roger, because the site wouldn't even be in existence without all he has done for me. The site is a far cry from my CowgirlNation website (which will hopefully be updated very soon)... because I wanted people to know that there is more to me than a few strings and cloth. The pictures on my site... show the real me. Don't get me wrong, I love girls in bikinis as much as the next person, but I wanted to show some versatility. Plus I wanted a site, where people could find my pics, and not get fired if they opened them up at the office. :) ** NOTE to all hormone driven males.. it may be in your best interest to not open CGN at work.. just an idea.**

Second on the agenda was the Playboy release, which took place Friday. I'll admit.. I was pretty nervous about all that. But, a friend in new york sent me a scan of the page to assure me. It's by no means a bad picture. I've already gotten a lot of response about it. You know.. the usual: Some love it.. Some hate it. Regardless, it was tastefully done. People have asked me why I didn't do full nude. I have always come from the school of thought that if you give them everything on the first try.. they won't be begging for more. So.. a little something left to the imagination... isn't necessarily a bad thing. Would I do full nude?.. I dunno. It's definitely not a priority right now.. but.. never say never. Bob Barker says it best when he says... If the price is right!...

Saturday... The Big Spring game (you know.. offense vs. defense). The defense of course dominated.. because.. that is what our defense always does. There were some killer plays however.. including an amazing catch... that was caught three times... actually juggled.. LOL. A couple of random scuffles... even an injury. A few guys got laid out hardcore. Geez guys.. lighten up.. THESE ARE YOUR TEAMMATES. I'd tell u more.. but then what would I write my SI article on? I got to learn the new players. Even met some of their parents.. who were super cool btw. Tailgating was a blast.. as usual. My locker room friends never let me down: Jax, with the AMAZING burgers.. Manic and Mom Foley for the chili and Family Guy.. The Garnet tux guy (sans Gold tux guy.. and the burger king man)... and the many others. Check out some of the pics for the fun you missed!!!..

On a side note, a certain friend of mine.. actually asked me later today.. if "we had won." I looked at her a little strange... and said.. what is this "we" business. She said.. "Duh..Jenn.. the Seminoles." I wasn't about to try to explain it to her.


Fox 13 from Tampa came up and shot a nice little news piece on me. No clue when it will air.. but they said sometime during the first week of May, end of April. (I'll keep you posted). Also, a TV news team from First Coast News in Jacksonville came over and did a surprise interview as well, check out the link and the video.




The best part of today.. aside.. from spending it doing what I love most (watching football).. I got to spend it with my dad. I don't get to see him all that often, because he travels.. and I go to school in Tally.. so for him to make the trip up to meet all my warchant friends was extra special for me.

Anyways.. I am off to work now.. I still have a job.. because my mom and dad want me off their payroll as soon as possible. Should be an interesting night.. with all my friends in town!!!... :) Take care until next time.

Quick update..check stores this weekend!!

Hey all, schedule has been nuts, time for a quick update...the Playboy edition should be out this weekend, I have heard in some newstands in the NY subways they have been selling it for a few days now...but check stores this weekend and it should be out...

I'll have a full update this weekend from the Garnet and Gold game..thanks again for the comments!!

J

Originally created 04/06/2006 @7:40PM

My first post!! Welcome to Jenn Sterger's Blog!

Hey everyone! So many people on facebook and myspace have said I should start a blog...if only to capture all the crazy stuff that has happened to me recently, and all the things I deal with every day!! My life is insane!! So, I'll give this a shot and see what happens...I hope you like it!! I'll try to post as much as I can, come back often and let me know what you think!!

Love ya!!
<3 Jenn

Originally created 3/25/2006 @5:10PM

Moderator comments: Due to issues with the original blog page code, the original posts have been recreated, along with the original comments/responses...we apologize for the issue, especially for those who may have wanted to go in and edit the original comments...they have been manually rentered in their entirety...so don't blame Jenn...blame her techs...:) Thanks for being patient...