Thursday, February 05, 2009

Sex, Lies, and No Videotape

Ever since Sept 5, 2005, people have often drawn numerous comparisons of me to Pamela Anderson. Both discovered in the stands of a sporting event. Both went on to appear in men’s magazines like Maxim and Playboy. But now, some people are starting rumors that we share a new common link as public figures: a secret sex tape.

I have never understood the theory behind the sex tape. I mean, who on earth really needs to video tape their most intimate moments with someone as if it’s no more important than watching last Sunday’s game film?.. Are you supposed to critique your performance?? Identify your strengths and weaknesses?.. Improve your technique?? Analyze where you could stand to lose a pound or two?.. Really, I am not quite sure where this whole fascination lies. I honestly have a hard enough time watching my road-shows and my E! specials without critiquing myself. I’m not about to remove all dignity and clothes from the equation.

So here is the deal: It’s no big secret that for most of 2008 I was seeing Rich Davis of the "Covino and Rich" show that broadcasts on SiriusXM. If you are not familiar with the show, you should listen...it’s a raw, funny uncensored version of the magazine… something like a mix of Howard Stern and Maxim Magazine on the air. Sometime over the summer of 2008, there was a discussion on the show about people making sex tapes, and in the bit was the joke that Rich and I had made one. And of course, various blogging sites picked up on that. Well, funny thing is, the part of the show where Rich finally admitted that there never was a sex tape and that the whole thing was a bit didn’t make the blogger's sites back then. That whole mess died down after a few weeks. At the end of 2008, Rich and I decided between us that it was better for us just being friends...and we went our separate ways in a mutual and amicable split. I wish him and the show all the best in the future; however I just wanted my personal life to not be a part of the show anymore.

Cut to current day: My web administrator and my friends are constantly getting bombarded with the latest Google alerts on me. So imagine their disgust when the latest barrage of alerts still dealt with this supposed sex tape of mine that’s lurking out there waiting to be sold to Vivid or whatever other company is waiting for the “Next Night in Paris.” It’s always been my belief that the people who have to run their mouths about sex clearly aren’t getting any, and probably won’t until they learn what it’s like to be in adult relationships. Those of you who regularly read my blog…Clearly, I am a pretty open person and far from being a prude, but I am certainly not a whore either. What goes on behind closed doors should really just stay there. And if it doesn’t?.. Well, maybe you should reassess who you spend your private time with. Those are not the type of guys you share your intimate moments with, let alone document them. They’re no better than the guys from the “Jaegerbombs” video.

So in short, let me state it officially once again: There is NO sex video, there never has been, and there never will be. Case closed Mr. Gil Grissom.

While trying to get my work done down here in Florida, and enjoy what few days in the sun I can, I encountered an amazing amount of bad luck and unfortunate circumstances, most of which were entirely out of my control. People I once had really deep feelings for were targets of malicious and deceitful lies, by others with hidden agendas and borderline sick obsessions. It really baffles me how people can be so fake to one another, and hide under the guise of the Lord and being “good Christians”, when in reality they are amongst the most hypocritical and false-hearted on the planet. These are the same people that try to align themselves with me for their own selfish gains, the ability to name drop, and whatever other self-indulging schemes they can come up with next. What’s further insulting is their lame excuses of how they “just didn’t think before they opened their mouth,” or that they needed closure or to be at peace with themselves. Oh cut the crap. They knew what they were doing, they knew what repercussions their actions would have, and those actions had nothing to do with making things “right.”

I guess it all comes down to me being a little more selective of the people I allow into my life. If people seem too good to be true, they probably are. I’m often accused of being far too na├»ve, when in reality I’m just too nice. I say I don’t give second chances, when in reality sometimes I hang on to something long after its expiration date. For far too long, I have allowed these energy vampires into my life and allowed them to manipulate me for their own personal gains and ego. Finally, this weekend, I had simply had enough. Some of them vanity-read this very blog, while others are barely smart enough to comprehend the multi-syllabic words in it. Regardless, I’m tired of all the lies, the rumors, and the deceit in my life. If I am going to live my life in the public eye and let perfect strangers scrutinize it, the least I can do is set the facts straight.

Sorry this blog wasn’t as entertaining or as lighthearted as others. Sometimes a girl just has to take care of business and take out the trash.

I just did it.

7 comments:

KT said...

I love the CSI reference :) Keep your chin up.

Frank said...

Jenn,

Brilliant piece! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Agree with you on the whole "sex tape" bit, sounds like you have your stuff together.

I hope you stay just as nice as you always have been. Keep to your true character ("This above all; to thine own self be true...." --Bill S) and don't let others mess with you! In any event, instant karma and all that usually keeps things in balance!

Cheers,

Frank

Anonymous said...

Jenn,

If you let me make a sex tape with you I promise I would never leak it to the media.

Mike

Pyle said...

Looking at the lighter side of "sex tapes", look at NBC's The Office, when Michael and Jan host a dinner party the guests discover that they had been videotaping their "bedroom activities". It was a funny part of the episode that ended up leading to their break-up.

Anyway, insightful post. Hopefully you enjoyed the Super Bowl. Maybe we could hear your thoughts on the outcome, officiating, etc. Just a thought.

Sean said...

Jenn - of course being a beauty and pretty famous, you are going to get this crap thrown up every so often. But, as usual, you come straight out and defend yourself, which is the classy way to do it. Good for you and don't change. Also, hope you're feeling better after your accident...stay away from Super Bowl functions in the future lol

Cheers,
Sean

iwatchthenba said...

Let's pretend for just a moment here....what celeb (or porn star?) would you want to play you in the spoof of your non-existent sex tape?

Veritas said...

Well Jenn what can I say rather then “I told you so!”?
For this last months I’ve been telling you about those that are with only for what you got and not because of what you are.
About that supposed sex tape I already heard about it, and being a great software developer and also a good hacker which I am, I’ve search the net clean for that supposed sex tape.
When I heard about that supposed tape I did all in my power to find it; “why!?” you may ask, I simply needed to see if it was true, don’t get me wrong but when it comes to sex tapes I prefer to check it out for myself rather than believing in what the people involved say.
How many times I thought “damn that can’t be true”, and when I dig deep enough all the truth came out into the light.
To be honest even if there was a sex tape I wouldn’t discriminate or even insult you, but I have to admit if there really is a tape out there; what I believe you are, all that talk about you being the real thing, would have gone straight out the window.
The bad thing wouldn’t even be that there was a tape, but the fact that you had all this time been lying to the people that respect you; and that is a fatal wound Jenn, I seriously hope there isn’t no tape out there, because if it really exists then I would be through with you.
Honestly I can say to you I don’t care who you date or which relationships you have had in past, that is none of my business and also because I have more to do then spying on your life.
You said you discovered the snakes in your midst; I can only say “Sure took you long enough”.
Jenn although you, I and a small percentage of the human population are happy if everyone is happy and doing their things, the greater percentage only think about their own needs and happiness and they don’t give a $hit about you and me.
That’s the world, simple and cruel.
You asked what’s this fascination about sex tapes and the dirt that people hide, is all about!?
Let me answer it for you.
It’s all about knowing!
It may not make any sense to you but believe me, that’s what is all about, knowing one person most intimate desires, likes and dislikes, how they make sex, the entire human race has that urge to know what is unknown; you have it, I have it we all have it.
That urge to know what makes us tic.
All people have it; it doesn’t matter the religion, color of their skin or status.
But as any true friend I most tell you something, you won’t like it but it’s the truth.
You said you have to become more selective on your friends.
But tell me something, aren’t you doing that already?
To how much people that posts a comment on your blog do you really reply?
Do you even once in a while check their pages and their blogs also?
Do I mean anything to you?
Can I be your friend?
I could answer all this questions for you, but rather than doing that I’m going to test you and depending on your reaction I’m going to see your true colors.
I want you to answer the questions that I made you!
Most people that post comments on your blog are so happy and disillusioned with the fact that just because they post comments, that to you they are worth something, and in the end they never have the guts to make any of the questions I made in this text.
But I’m not like them, I need to know.
Do I mean anything to you Jenn?
In a way I can also say “I’m sorry this text wasn’t as entertaining or as lighthearted as the others” but it comes a time when a person has to put all the cards in the table and say “Do you call it? Or do you quit?”
So how it’s going to be Jenn?