My life has been primarily consumed by sports the past few years, so forgive me if I reserve the right to talk about my personal life on my space. Why shouldn’t I?... I mean.. it is MYspace. I’ll do with it as I please. Besides, if you can’t talk about life with your friends, then when can you?...
I have been getting a lot of comments and notes about my status updates on MySpace, mostly out of concern for my feelings. It’s weird, because most of the people that write me, are people that have never even met me. They’ve merely seen a picture or read a blog, or if they were really bored watched a video. But most of you have never had to see me at my worst. And believe me, in the course of the past few years, there have definitely been some “worsts.” You know the look… make up (if you’re lucky) strewn down my face, hair in shambles, probably in my pajamas, eating a bowl of Ben and Jerry's til my ass fills itself out again. Pretty pathetic, right?... Those are the days I find myself actually Mapquesting bridges to jump off of, and actually weighing the pros and cons of each… like which has the better view on the way down. And then I realize… damn… Lutz is really lacking some decent bridges. So instead, I sit on the computer and come to MySpace. Lame, sure. But what else is a girl that spends her days consumed by the internet supposed to do?...
Not to be outdone by “the book of face,” and my original medium.. MySpace added these features that let you show people what your mood is. They even give you a space to leave a note. Mine are usually something goofy.. like a terrible movie quote, or the lyrics to a cheesy song. But lately, I have just been feeling uninspired to leave anything creative. My mind and heart have been totally preoccupied with obstacles I am facing in my own life.
Every now and then, we all come to that point after college, where our decision making skills are often put to their toughest tests. You know, that crucial gut check every person has to have in their twenties: The “Where Do I Go From Here” choice. And despite the crazy journey life has taken me on in the past few years, it still hasn’t made my decision making process any easier in regards to the direction I want my career to take. Hell, most of the decisions I have “made” in the past few years weren’t really all that thought out. I just did what seemed like the “right thing at the time.” Then, there were times I had to make decisions, and didn’t… and now look back wondering what I may have missed out on.
Aside from the typical job questions we ask ourselves, most of us also struggle with personal relationships with people in our lives. We struggle with ghosts of our past, people in our present, and dreams of our future. The problem is many of us make the mistake of letting the real thing pass us by, simply because we are too scared to take a leap of faith. Life is all about taking chances on people, places, opportunities… on just living. I’m no different. It’s the classic case of personal happiness versus professional fulfillment. Many of us call our inability to make decisions ‘patience’, and that is just selfish. You can’t tell the rest of the world to slow down just because you can’t keep up, just as you can’t tell it to stop so you can get off. You just have to hold on for the ride.
In the town of
If people are willing to gamble on colors, and cards… then why not take chances with their own lives?..It’s aggravating that so many people don’t ask out that girl at the bar for fear of public humiliation. They don’t go to that job interview for fear of rejection. They don’t turn in class projects because they can’t stand in front of a crowd. Instead we avoid making the decision all together. When you have to make a choice, and don’t make it… that in itself is a choice. So what if you fail?... So what if your friends say I told you so?... You can only live your life for you, because after any decision… whether it is wrong or right.. comes a calm. You may not have made the right decision, but at least you committed to a cause. And rarely are there choices in life that can’t be reversed with enough hard work and commitment.
Even during my days at Sports Illustrated, it amazed me that people ACTUALLY wrote in to get advice from a 22 year old girl. What the hell did I know???.. How was I supposed to help them solve their predicaments?.. I was 22.. I could barely pick out a pair of shoes to wear let alone make decisions that could have lasting effects on my life. But that’s just it. Maybe they really didn’t want my advice, they just wanted someone to talk to. Someone to listen. Maybe I didn’t have all the answers, but if I could give them any reassurance of their own thoughts, or maybe play devils advocate with them.. then my mission was accomplished.
Man is the only living being that is able to choose its own destiny. Seeds become plants, because it’s what seeds do. Puppies become dogs, because it’s their natural progression. But we have the ability to mold the course of our lives by our choices and commitments to them. That is how you attain a higher level of personal fulfillment. Besides, no one ever achieved greatness by hesitation.
Good decisions are made from experience, and experience is made from bad decisions. It’s all a part of finding your way. Life is the sum of all our choices. Some may leave you “in the hole,” while others can make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. Being able to make decisions, puts you in charge of your life, and in that… you can find the freedom to make your life whatever you so choose.
So quit living your life like you meant for no one to notice. Hit Control B on your life. And live it with purpose… because with great risk, comes great reward.