Sunday, March 21, 2010

America's Sweetheart

Very rarely do my blogs ever veer into the pop culture sector of my industry. I figure there are enough Perez Hiltons and Tyler Durdens out there that there's really no reason to inject any more worthless third person opinion into the mix.

But as I ran on the treadmill the other day, I couldn't help but be drawn to the day’s skeezy headline on the TV in front of me.. "Chopper bad boy cheats on America’s sweetheart."

Two weeks ago, Sandra Bullock was on top of the world. She was dressed to the nines and outshining actresses half her age. She was the envy of the gay community for "making out with Meryl Streep." And oh yeah, she won what most would argue is the most prestigious acclaim one could possibly take home as an actress these days.. an Academy Award. Upon accepting her award for her role in “The Blind Side” she attributed her beautiful performance as “Big Mike” Oher's adoptive mother to two very special people. One, the actual woman whose mannerisms and gusto she had nailed to a "T." And a tattooed up garage rat she had affectionately come to refer to as her husband.

Little did she know the shitstorm that was about to become her life. A little over a week later, Life and Style had their people call her people and give her the heads up on the explosive headline that was about to hit the stands. You know, the one where the good girl gets crapped on by the bad boy she is in love with. Figuring the report was just another random bullshit line in tabloid history, Bullock's people denied the allegations. That is, until the sleaze magazine handed over all the evidence, including substantiated reports from none other than the “white power,” tatted up, “classy” broad claiming to have slept with Sandra’s husband. Sandra packed her things and moved out that day.

The whole mess really got me thinking though. Was it some sort of ego trip, or were men's minds really that feeble that they couldn't resist a little bit of “T&A” being paraded in front of their face? I mean seriously. What kind of men cheat on America's sweethearts?

There have been plenty of cases out there in the media world these days of beautiful successful women being cheated on by their "faithful and loving" husbands. Plenty of my friends and women-- that I care about deeply that seemingly had life by the balls-- lives were suddenly thrown into the turmoil dealing with their partner's infidelity. Hell, at 26, my last two long term relationships involved being cheated on with a Hooters chick, and the other to attend a “party.” Did I mention the party was 18 girls 18 boys, no boyfriends, girlfriends, or apparently human decency allowed? Since when did party=orgy??.. So when I learned of the details of this sordid event, it was “Hi ho, hi ho, pack your bags and go” for his sorry, undeserving ass.

That's not to say it didn't hurt like hell to see him go. It most certainly did. But it wasn't even that I loved him, or I thought he was the "one." Hell, I'm not really convinced there is still a "one" out there anymore in this day and age, especially with what I do for a living. No, instead it all came down to a lack of respect and a whole lot of perceived entitlement.

Bad boys are bad boys for a reason. Whether they claim mama issues, have huge egos, or supposed sex addictions, it really all comes down to their own personal character and the choices they make. And it’s our "role" in society as the loving nurturing women we are to want to fix them or save them from themselves. I call this the ‘Danny/Sandy Complex’ because well, every person on the planet has seen “Grease” at least once in their life, even the straight ones. Classic story of bad boy meets sweet girl. Girl falls for his antics. He retreats back to what he always was once school starts up again; he’s around his degenerate buddies. And breaks said good girl’s heart. But what happens at the end downright blows my mind. Down in the dumps about having lost Danny, she stands up in the middle of a disgusting aqueduct, and sings her sad song..

"Sandy, you must start anew. Don’t you know what you must do… wholesome and pure, I'm so scared and unsure. Good bye, to Sandra Dee."

And the next scene.. The grand finale. Its good bye poodle skirts, hello skankwear and spandex from American Apparel’s sex ads. Sure, she’s “the one that he wants”… for now anyway. Roll credits.

What the Sandra Dees don't realize is there's no changing the Danny Zukos of the world's ways, or saving them for that matter, because they are who they are. No one asks a scorpion why its stings people, it’s just its nature. Tigers don’t go crazy, Tigers go Tiger. (I am referring to the animal in this case, but I guess it could apply in several instances these days.) Regardless, you accept it for what it is, and either proceed with caution or go running for the hills. But if you do stick around, understand there's a fine print somewhere that states the potential hazards this relationship could and WILL bring into your life.

So for all the Sandra Dees and the Sandra Bullocks of the world, just continue to do your thing. There's no reason to change yourself or dress like a slut to compete with the women out there willing to destroy someone else’s relationship, just so they can “win” something. Instead, you let them keep their cheap carnival toy they "won" at the expense of you and their own self worth. You've still got your pride, and if you're Bullock, a new man in your life named Oscar.

As Lady Gaga once said, “Some women chase men, I chose to chase my career. A career won’t roll over one morning and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore.” Maybe under all that make up, the wigs, and masking tape, that girl isn’t so nuts after all. In fact she is absolutely right. After all, no man should ever rob you of the things you create and make happen …

Especially when you do it on your own.


vinmac300 said...

Amen,Jenn! Having been a fan of Sandra's since her breakthrough, she has always tried to stay above it all. My opinion was raised a bit more when she relocated to Austin and made the place just a little more interesting. Here's hoping all works out. As for your wonderful contributions on a daily basis (here, Twitter and elsewhere...), keep it up. You make life just a little more interesting...

anthony0358 said...

that last line is so important to everyone!

Anonymous said...

My best guess? Jesse likes white trash-ish women. He tried to settle down with an actual normal chick, but couldn't resist the trash.

Anonymous said...

It boils down to 1 thing, selfishness.

Warren Wallace said...

Interesting topic for the new blog Jenn. My two cents? Women are attracted to the Danny Zukos of the world for the same reason mosquitoes are attracted to the purple light in the bug zapper. I suspect that even if the mosquito was given the disclaimer of what will happen to him if he goes to the purple light, he would do it anyway, just as women go for Danny Zuko despite the risk. And when you think about it, the risk is probably part of the attraction of the "bad boys" anyway. Most women say they want a nice guy, but usually nice guys = boring, routine, predictable. Bad boys = excitement, fun, spontanaiety. So, the bad boy on the surface is more least until she has been burned a few times, or realizes there's a thin line between the Jack Sparrow's of the world, and the bad boy who metamorphs into a a cheating, abusive, jerk. Like you said though, people have the freewill to choose how they want to act. If we all treated other people the way we wanteded to be treated, then the world might be a little better place!

OzJ15 said...

Jenn: Thanks for your blog. Is this a joke? Famous man cheats on spouse. What a shocker. Listen, 70% of men that make over $300k in America cheat, about 20% that make less than $30k cheat. But I can't be with John Doe from Sacramento, I have to date someone else that's famous, or sub-famous. This is old potatoes. Women get cheated on, because men allow it. There are a lot of cultures around the world where people don't even think about it. You want to not be cheated on, you're at a loss here in America. You're better off overseas in the middle east or something. I love America, but we have the highest infidelity, divorce rate, and stress related death in the whole world. I'm a great guy, I don't date. I like a beautiful woman, but I'm not going to talk to a woman who's dated 30 guys and thinks that I'm going to save her. That's where women "miss it". Men are like little babies, you take the toy away and we cry like a little baby. Anyways, you want to not be cheated on. Look at the people you're talking to, it's not the guy's fault at all. You've had your heart abused, and you know what, you can have a better tomorrow, but you have to stop looking around the trash can trying to find a clean biscuit to eat? Sure you'll get a biscuit, but what about all that other stuff you get on you? Love and Peace Jenn S.

jason said...

i just cant believe someone would cheat on YOU! what an idiot. that poor guy has to live everyday knowing that he blew his chance at being with the most beautiful woman in the world. i have done some really dumb things in my life...but not that dumb. love the blog and everything else you do Jenn.

lateniter983m said...

So whats the deal with flaming hot chicks and douchebags, it continues to happen over and over and over and over. Whats the allure?

When will you girls learn?