REBOOT.

I was in the middle of another romantic epiphany blog when it happened again. Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody” suddenly went into an impromptu techno remix that only played one note, my mouse no longer worked… and then.. there it was.

The Blue Screen of Death.

I first saw the Blue Screen of Death last November. I didn’t really think too much about it. Just figured it was one of those buggy things that PC’s got every once in a while. So I upgraded my firewalls, upgraded my virus protection, and went about my own business. But then it happened again sometime mid February. And again in April. The Blue Screen of Death was becoming far too regular a visitor to my beloved laptop.

Ordinarily, I would just take Hewlett (my computer), to my buddy Erick and let him tinker with him until he was back in working order. But, I wasn’t in Tampa, and had no plans to travel in the immediate future. So I took Hewlett to the boys over at the Geek Squad to see if they could figure out what was wrong with him.

The diagnosis was bleak.

Hewlett was simply running out of memory and running out of time. Sure, I could buy an external hard drive and milk him a little while longer, but there was no telling when he would surf his final web page or simply give out on me. Here I was, a girl born and raised from the grassroots of internet message boards, and I could barely keep a solid WIFI connection, let alone multitask without sending Hewlett into an electronic seizure. And with all the craziness I had coming up in my schedule, I couldn’t afford to be caught on the road with no access to cyberspace. It was time to face a harsh reality. Hewlett had simply become outdated.

Hewlett and I have seen a lot of adventures (and misadventures) over the past few years. I got him as a Christmas gift from my parents the year I started writing for Sports Illustrated, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. He has seen me through the good times, the bad times, and all the ones in between.

How was I supposed to part with something that had been such a huge part of not only my professional success, but my personal life over the past four years?? Sure his “G” key was a little busted, his speakers were a little rusted, and his memory was at times a little fuzzy, but he always got the job done. We knew the airport security drill like the back of our hard drives, and had become masters of pirating our way through random WIFI connections. But what now?

Hewlett wasn’t the only one feeling the strain the past few years had put on our lives. Between my shooting schedules, upcoming projects, charity work, and meetings, I barely have enough time to sleep let alone take care of myself. And that’s while I was single. My relationships over the past few years had been even more draining, some of course far more than others. I dunno, maybe Hewlett was trying to tell me something. MALFUNCTION: NEED INPUT. Maybe I needed something else in my life. A change, a fresh… something. Maybe it was time.. to say goodbye.

I’m proud of the things I have accomplished in the short four years since that fateful Monday night. People can say I haven’t accomplished much, or downplay the victories I have had, or better yet attribute all my success to cleverly crafted cleavage… but I think they’d be shortchanging me if they did. As some of my colleagues have pointed out on numerous occasions, I wasn’t born into this industry. Nor did I have any real formal training. People work their entire lives to do a fraction of what I have done merely a few years. I was thrust into it overnight, by luck. Ran with it, by chance. And never looked back, with hard work and dedication.

That’s not to say I haven’t had a few missteps along the way. After all, with no fancy publicists, agents, or managers until recently.. I’ve done most of it by myself and the help of a few trusted friends and family. Sure, I will put my foot in my mouth a time or too but I’ve always said I am so much more eloquent on paper. Hewlett has spell check.. grammar check. And a backspace key. Really, what more could a girl ask for?

My parents arrived this week to help me get things in order and make final preparations for the big things ahead of me. After I coerced my dad into reprising his role as Tim the Tool Man Taylor and installing a new air conditioner in my future apartment.. I gave him an even bigger task: One last ditch effort to save Hewlett. My dad is pretty nifty with computers, but something in the back of my mind said this job was just too big for any of us to handle.

As we backed up all of Hewlett’s memories, part of me couldn’t help but get a little nostalgic. There I was…. meeting Brent Musberger in Eugene, Oregon. Shaking & Baking with Tony Stewart and the boys of NASCAR. Falling in love and touching the Ivy on the Walls of Wrigley. There were pictures intermixed of boyfriends past. The ones that were better off friends, the ones that got away, and the ones I couldn’t seem to get .. to just go away. Then, there they were. The infamous screen captures that started it all: The birth of “The Cowgirl.” I couldn’t help but laugh at how things had changed in the past four years. From short shorts and cowboy hats, to power suits and couture dresses. The ‘lil Cowgirl was all grown up. I guess we all have to at some point, right?..

While perusing through the photos I stumbled upon a folder name I didn’t recognize. GHSMB2002. Hm.. that’s weird. I opened the folder.

Sure enough, it was the old me. The one before the plastic surgery, the one before all the heartbreak. The girl who was a hopeless romantic, a prolific piano player, and had one of the biggest cheese grins you have ever seen.

Then it dawned on me.

WTF was I thinking?!?!?!?! I couldn’t disassemble Hewlett. He had served me well, and I was just willing to throw in the towel.. just like that. I don’t think so!!!

NO DIS-ASSEMBLE HEWLETT!!!!!!.........

So, countless hours later, with a new partitioned hard drive and lord knows what other miracles my dad had worked on the operating table, we managed to buy Hewlett a second lease on life. It wasn’t quite starting over per se, because we’d always have our memories and the occasional glitch here or there. But at least we had a fresh blank screen to work on.. a new hard drive. External hard drive for the old memories.. but a place to start anew and keep the good times coming. Then I thought, maybe it was time to shut down my own operating systems for a little while, and reboot myself too.

Sometimes you just have to start life over with a blank screen and leave the past right where it belongs… behind you, whatever hardships it may entail. Otherwise, you could look around one day and find yourself.. well, extremely outdated. I wasn’t about to tear apart all the hard work I had done in the past five years, only tweak it so I could build upon it to start a new chapter. The road ahead wasn’t going to be an easy one.. but I was prepared to do just that.

Please Stand By Ladies and Gentlemen…..

Jenn 2.0 is LOADING.. .. .. .. ..

Jenn Sterger 1st Video Blog

ADMIN UPDATE:

OK, OK...I know I dropped the ball by not posting this earlier last week when Jenn posted it to her You Tube channel page...I guess I am no longer in the running for Blogger's Admin of the Year award...so without further waiting, here is the first of what we hope will be many Vlogs that will give y'all a more personal look into her day to day experiences and what's going on in her life...Enjoy!!



Or if you need a direct link, click here!

The You Tube Lecture Video making the internet rounds...again

ADMIN UPDATE:

Well, it's obviously that slow period between football major events...the NFL draft is over, college ball is entering that summer dead time before players "officially" report to school..god knows the NBA can't end fast enough for me and MLB?...yawn..wake me up in October for that one...or don't, I could care less..

That being said, it never ceases to amaze me how other people will then spend their spare time anyway. Apparently, one solution for these geniuses is to drudge up 2 year old You Tube videos and try to pass them off as new content!!

My Admin Gmail account has been hit these past two days with Google Alerts regarding Jenn and some bloggers reporting on this "incredible find". This particular video was posted Wednesday on one blog site as "new content". That of course got picked up by the mental giants at other larger sites and is now being reported in multiple places. While Jenn could actually give a crap about any of this, I, on the other hand, am significantly bored (see first paragraph above) and feel like responding. So here we go!

Lets start with facts....I know this concept is foreign to most of these bloggers and their fans, but...THIS VIDEO CLIP IS OVER TWO YEARS OLD! Don't take my word, go look it up on You Tube...Jenn wrote about it on her blog in April 2006. If you don't feel like reading that post, in a nutshell, here is what you are really seeing online:

1) She was invited, while still a student at FSU, to present an hour long speech and Q&A session to a student public relations class on the topic of "Representation of Women's Bodies in Cyberspace". The professor thought, given Jenn's personal dealings with her sudden rise to internet popularity while still a student, with the Maxim and Playboy issues being released that month, that she was in a perfect position to share her views and experiences with the class.

2) That same day, a reporter and film crew from the Tallahassee Democrat (the local newspaper) were following her around campus for a "Day in the life" segment about the local girl and the buzz surrounding the upcoming magazines being released.

3) When the Democrat heard she was going to do the class that night, they decided on their own to film the whole 1 hour event. What got posted to You Tube were small clips of the Q&A session where she was answering questions asked by other classmates. None of it was planned to be spread all over the internet. The Tallahassee Democrat posted these clips originally with the article that ran. They of course got posted to You Tube (and of course without the Democrat credit or logo, they were conveniently chopped off). Since all of this is over TWO YEARS OLD, the links on the Democrat website we originally posted are no longer active. But, since I'm a great Admin, I uploaded a copy of the original Tallahassee Democrat article for all to enjoy.

So it's that simple, and yes, that boring of a story. It's not some random announcement like the bloggers are posting. It's not a press conference about her boobs. It was a few minutes of clips of her talking about what kinds of things were happening to her back then, taken out of context and out of order. It's Jenn being honest and candid about her personal life, which, if you have read this blog over the years, is exactly what and who she is. The clips show a nervous college girl being asked to speak about her personal life in front of a large group of people for the first time in her life, all while being filmed by a newspaper to support a major article.

But hey, I don't want to ruin the fun of all the other blog sites out there...I'm fully aware much your site traffic explodes when you post an article about Jenn...and I'm sure you need all the Ad Sense revenue you can possibly generate...so have at it! We will keep posting the facts here, and on Facebook, MySpace and a few other online media ventures we will be pleased to announce in the months ahead...so keep checking back here for the true stuff...or be lazy like me and set up a Google Alert for Jenn, I can't keep up with her crazy posting schedule lately..:)

Oh well, time for me to back away from my PC and head out and enjoy my weekend.. Since apparently we are living in 2006, I guess have to go get my new Maxim so I can see Jenn's Cowgirl photos!! Exciting!!

Thanks for letting me rant...

Jax - Admin

Jenn's original blog dated April 25th, 2006

Bottom of the ninth....

Two Outs. Bases loaded.

Full count.

As the wind pushes about the clouds on the one of the last days of summer, another season comes to an end. You’ve stared many of these moments in the face throughout your years at bat. But this one just has a different feeling to it.

It’s that defining moment in a person’s life, their career, their sense of being that they know may be their last. You’re batting against time; you’re batting against the future, against age, against ending. You’re hoping for one more chance to see something that you have created, clear the fences. In your final strike, in your last at bat… What will you make of yours?

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty sure God created baseball, and all other sports for that matter as a distraction from the real world. It was mankind that made it the metaphor for our existence. We’ve written stories, made movies, built legends out of mere mortals that simply were better at something than the rest of us. But of all sports, baseball seems to be the one that best mirrors life.. I mean, why else would the make so many great movies about it? Aside from Hoosiers, and The Longest Yard… how many movies can you really think of that have football or basketball as a metaphorical subplot?... Eh, I guess boxing works too… but only if your Sylvester Stallone and are pretty gifted at playing slightly retarded (Except for the third movie, where he could have possibly solved a Rubik's cube, or at least tied his shoe all by himself).

As far as metaphors go, you really couldn’t get more accurate. The season is long. You fail more times than you succeed. There are tough decisions to make. And of course the man in blue is always screwin' you in some fashion or another.

Some would argue that baseball is simply just a way to pass time, and that its metaphor lies in the sports longevity. As the season wears on, the hits become less memorable, the errors seem less embarrassing.. the endless road games and home stands blend seamlessly into this giant arc. So in a game of statistics, numbers, and steroids, how do some just earn a living, while the rest become legends?

For years I joked about dumb jocks, and their lack of foresight when is came to making decisions. I can think of better ways to spend the governments money than chasing after athletes who make bad decisions, but then again… what do you expect when the leader of the greater free world so happened to run a franchise better than he did a country?.. And some may even argue that point. Regardless of preconceived notions, hitting a pitched ball demands such unclouded vision, immediate judgment, and precise coordination that one can hit well only in a state of naked awareness, of wakefulness without a single thought. It’s just automatic. It’s natural. Some things just come easier to others. While some, it’s a practiced skill.

We all have certain purposes in life, and roles we play in the lives of others. With corporate America running things these days, there’s no allegiance. No loyalty. It’s simply, “how can I get ahead of the Yankees?...” Such is life, where people will trade life long companions, and future icons at the chance of getting that hot young prospect. The one that will fill the seats, the one that will make the other teams take notice. Because that is what it’s all about right?... But guess what?.. You can have the biggest pay roll, the greatest bunch of individual athletes in the world, but if they can’t put aside ego.. and play as one… they aren’t worth a thing.

When the Boston Red Sox traded Babe Ruth, they sold him for $100,000 and a Broadway musical. 86 years of misery for a hundred grand and some show tunes???.... Its poor decisions like this that will haunt us for years to come. The idea that you let “the one” get away. That job, that love interest. All because it seemed like a good idea at the time, or it was just too much effort, or for simply a matter of convenience. Nothing worth having ever came easy, but in the end it’s certainly worth it. Imagine what the Sox could have achieved... Bad trades and decisions are a part of baseball as much as they are a part of life. And if 86 years seems like a long time to city of loyal fans, imagine what it feels like when you go it alone.

It’s in these last days, that you sometimes wish you’d hung it up when you were younger. They wouldn’t see you in such a weakened state. But the fact is they’ve been with you all the way. They stood by you when you went 0 for 10.. and you were throwing fewer K’s than the alphabet. Sure the drunks in the outfield would give you hell and harass your mother, but that’s only because they didn’t feel like you were living up to your true potential. And they should know. They’ll celebrate your victories, and mourn your losses, and let you know when your head ain’t right. But if they still care after all the hell you’ve put them through, then you know you’ve made it to the show. After all, fans don’t boo nobodies.

The point is no matter what life throws you, you got to always keep swinging. There will be times you will hit one to the fence, and times you will get called “Out.” Such is life, and it’s full of successes and failures. But dwelling on failure, only leaves you in a slump, and a bad slump is like a soft bed. Its easy to fall into, and hell to get out of. Accept your shortcomings, accept your flaws.. change what you can, and keep swinging. Revel in the fact you play a sport where three out of ten ain’t bad. And above all, never take your eye off the ball. Because the pitcher doesn’t, nor do the crowds of fans and naysayers.. so why should you?

So what will you do with your last at bat?.. seal a legacy or go down in infamy? What will they say about you when all is said and done???

I don’t know much about life, but I do know my sports. And though the players change, certain variables remain the same. You'll win some. You'll lose some.

And some'll get rained out.

All that matters is that you came to play ball.

We have been appointed umpires in a cosmic game of our own devising, and at any moment we choose, we can declare ourselves home safe.