The Spring Weekend Fiasco.. and When Bad Shots happen to Good People

One of Florida State's many traditions as a Top Ten Party School has always been Spring Weekend. Basically, they take the frattiest of the fratty... transplant them onto Panama City beach…hand them lots of alcohol and tell them to "go play, and have fun!." I somehow got roped into attending this fiasco by a friend of mine. Don't get me wrong, part of me was curious about the Spring Weekend experience, while the other part said…"RUNNNNNNNN!" There is just something about a bunch of alcohol and half naked people that is bound to cause drama. And it is just not my scene.

I was having a pretty decent time, sipping on my one and only drink on Friday....when I noticed my girlfriend…becoming progressively more intoxicated. Being the great friend that I am, I put her needs before mine, and promptly cut myself off. I am obviously foreseeing that day’s later events.
No swami could've predicted the crazy and erratic behavior I witnessed the rest of that day. My girlfriend was out of control: trying to teach boys to play football (and getting knocked in the face with one... does anyone else see the Brady Bunch irony in this?), walking up to other people and stealing their sunglasses, drinks, you name it, and... losing my beach towel, among many other personal items of her own.. including the bathing suit she had on. I tried locking her in the room to sleep it off. I even barricaded her in there with everything I could find. This chick was like Houdini!!!!.... Who knows how she escaped.. but she did. I must have put an "If found please return to Room # " tag on her.. because no less than half an hour later.. she was back.. and missing parts of her bikini. By this point I had had it. She was soooo grounded.

After getting her settled, and forcing her to sleep it off, I went to Hooters to clear my mind. I know…most guys at this point are going.. “Dude.. That's WHAT I do!... but the wife never believes me!”. A single beer later, I return to the hotel.. and try to sleep. HA!.... Right. These people are like zombies.. it was night of the living dead.. and none of them would just PASS OUT!... Finally I somehow managed to catch a few hours of shut eye... only awaking to my girlfriend calling to tell me she was lost (she was on the floor below us).. and that I needed to come find her. The price of being the only sober person on the beach.. :( How did I wind up with THIS job???

We left sometime around three the next day, after my girlfriend had somewhat recovered from her partying the day before. (I am not at all about vomit.. so she was NOT going to do it in my car.. unless she wanted to walk home). I was so relieved to be back in Tally, especially in time for the Famous Animals of Section B tailgate, which consisted of mucho tequila and a wiffle ball game (in which the batting.. and pitching.. and over all athleticism decreased in correlation with the amount of alcohol the player had consumed).

The guys and gals of Section B.. and the LR were awesome. Its like having a party with your closest friends. The best part of course, was getting the chance to hang out as myself.. and not as cowgirl Jenn. Don't get me wrong, I love my hats and outfits as much as the next person.. but sometimes a little break is nice.


I was supposed to work that night, but the city of Tallahassee was in a shortage of drunks that night, which roughly translates to...it was dead. So.. I got cut.. and sent along my way. Somehow my friends and LR compadres ended up at Ken's, which I had never been to until that night. The staff there was awesome.. and was really happy to have my friends and I in their presence. They even asked me to sign a copy of my Playboy they just happened to have in their bar. Um.. kinda AWKWARD... but nonetheless, just flattered they recognized me.

We then V.I.P'ed it over to Yanni's next door... which was the “best worst” decision EVER. I taught Fallyn why Florida State should have been the number one party school in the nation. I am sure her drive home to Virginia the next day sucked... but hey.. at least she'll always remember me. LOL. Anyways.. we had a great time.. despite the crazy heat in that place.. and the abundance of 80's music. Two of our own even dance battled each other to Michael Jackson's BEAT IT. (You think the boy-bander would've had the edge, but I think the other may have one upped him.. I'm sure a second meeting is in order to determine the victor).

Anyways.. a great time was had by all even though I am sure many of us hated life in the morning. However, it is only a small price to pay to the party Gods. I was just glad I got a chance to hang out with everyone.. and spend time with friends and the people that matter to me. It's nice to know I can still go out and have a quasi-normal life, despite all the craziness that has happened in these past few months.

For all the friends I got to see Saturday... I can't begin to tell u how much I have missed you guys.. you make me long for the tailgates to come. For those that couldn't make it.. you better not punk out next time…because Tallahassee misses you.

Until next time.. Stay classy Tallahassee.. ;)