The Big Bang Theory

It’s been said that no man is capable of being one hundred percent honest. There was always that one instance, that one moment where it was more convenient, more sympathetic.. it was just easier to fib a little bit. You tell your boss you loved their presentation, when to be completely honest?... Your ADD went “HD” in the opening credits. You tell your mom that you were at your buddy’s place studying... and by studying you mean the female form of a certain hot co ed, that happened to be staying in the same vicinity as the aforementioned friend. And while you may not be the brightest guy on the planet, even you know the answer to the ever elusive question: “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?” And may the Lord help you if you so much as hesitate.

But, have you ever been at a crossroads in life, where you just needed to buy yourself a little more time to think? So, rather than telling the truth, you start telling little white lies?... At first, the little white lies are just that. There was no bad intent. They were never meant to hurt anyone, only to protect others feelings. They are for your own good, or so we are told. But really, is there such a thing???

Maybe you lied about one event. One single detail. So what, right?... Well guess what? Then you find yourself having to lie just to cover up the original one, and another to cover up that one. The nasty snowball effect only gets bigger and bigger as it rolls downward. Eventually, the lies become an entire story, one so twisted that even the most skilled of authors will forget the original lie, not to mention the intricate details you gave along the way. And that is when you get it… the massive explosion in your face.

I’d like to think of this as the Big Bang. It’s when all the lies and deception come to a fruition, and guess what kids?... The jig is up. Sure, you could continue to hold your stance, and vehemently deny the accusations. Think… “I did not have sexual relations with that woman… Ms. Lewinski.” Or “I never took steroids, Mr. Senator.” But at the end of the day, what doesn’t come out in the wash… only stains the dress. And the guy that steps to the plate with a Mardi Gras head and Raisonettes is… “OUT!” (with ump hand motion).

Then again, you could always come clean. They weren’t lying when they said the truth hurts, but there are certainly ways to cushion the blow. And that beats getting caught any day of the week.

Society has taught us, that some forms of lying are perfectly acceptable.. I mean, look at American politics!!!... But lying is never acceptable on a daily basis, and certainly not to the ones we love. They deserve a higher level of respect than your coworkers, your buddies, and even your own mother. Because while your mother will love you unconditionally, and your buddies’ attention span will eventually allow him to forget why he momentarily hated you… your significant other loves you by choice. And if you can’t be honest with them, well… then who can you be???....

All lies do is create stress. They create problems in other areas of our lives. They make your place an absolute mess. They gave you a huge zit in the middle of your forehead that people begin to mistake as an undeveloped Siamese twin. And ‘cause you to look so disheveled, that even the homeless man is trying to give you a dollar.

That is why I believe in brutal honesty. People may not always like what I have to say, but at least they know I wasn’t BS’ing them. I’d rather have someone hate me for being honest, than adore me for telling them lies. I’ve learned many lessons the hard way and had to hurt others before I realized that in order to have adult relationships.. I had to become an adult. Maybe that, and I realized… I am a terrible liar. And unlike many other learned skills.. you can’t learn to be a good liar. Becoming a good liar doesn’t come with practice, but with comfort in what you’re doing. People come to see it as a possible option, regardless of how small the issue may have been in the first place.

Uncovering the truth all at once, only leads to the Big Bang. The lies come to a head. The @#$! hits the fan. You were standing in a fireworks factory, and your dumb ass self had to have a smoke. What a crappy liar never considers, is that if they had told the truth all along and diffused the heat over a period of time, rather than letting it all come to fruition at once, they could have avoided a major loss.

Trust is one of the hardest things to build, yet one of the easiest to destroy. What do you do when the damage is done?.. When trust is lost??... Some choose to throw up the white flag in surrender-- to be so forthcoming with information, they might as well be reporting to a parole officer. While others, choose to simply ignore the incident and they never really learn a lesson. But in each case, no one really wins. The victim will always remember this one instance. And the liar will continue to lie. And that’s no relationship I want a part in.

The best way to avoid all of this?.. To just tell the truth. Sure, these types of relationships may seem like a myth, some… urban legend if you will?.. But, what if you could find that one person you could just be yourself with?? They’d accept you as you are… flaws, mistakes, quips, and all. And that is the best kind of relationship there is. Because the rest of your life is a long time to spend being something other than yourself.